Blame it on bad luck
Well, today (yesterday) was the first day in approximatly 6 years that i've been officially single. I'm not bragging.
I think most people know i've been on a break for awhile. Yesterday I finally anitiated something other then small talk which resulted in us deciding we weren't getting back together. It's been 5 years. 5 years. It's been good. In the end it's funny, I think it's all a result of us being too similar to each other. Opposites attract.. that sort of thing. We were both a little too introverted, both a little too depressed for our own good, both not not able to open up to each other without a lot of prodding, which generally didn't occur. Anyways it's more or less a mutual thing which is good, and being the aforementioned similar-minded people that we are, it's plausible we could still remain friends (great friends?), so that's the plan. I guess the good thing is i've spent so long feeling like shit since it was becoming clear something wasn't right that now i'm more or less just happy there's a conclusion to it all. Which is good. I've pretty much run the gamut on emotions the last few months, and happy wan't one of them. Was the 5 years a waste? Not at all. I've learned a lot about myself (sounds so cliche), and I've loved and I've lost (bah.. cliche again), but the main thing is that i've loved, and the love was genuine, and i'd do it all again and so would she. Alas, i'll be ok, for now i'm happy with my own company. As always, music helps.
So thats enough about that.. not much else to update. Just been working spending most of my time hanging around with Andrew doing all the pointless and meaningless things that we can to accupy our time. I've noticed I have spurts of motivation (inspiration?). Usually like once every couple or weeks or whatever, where I feel like my life is just completely under my control. I'll genuinly feel like things are all gunna turn out ok in the end. I'm gunna get in amazing shape, get a great job, be happy all the time. I'll have the big house and 2.4 kids. I'm gunna write, and read, maybe learn a new language.. i'm gunna update my blog every day(HA!). I'm not gunna waste any more time accomplishing nothing, I'm gunna climb Mt. Everest... then I usually spend the day watching TV and say, well i'll do all that tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I forget all about that whole notion until the next spurt a couple weeks later. But anyways, things could be worse. I'm going to an information session on Tuesday for the Toronto Police on their recruiting. And i'm gunna redo my physical test on March 1st, so I can apply again shortly after that. Hopfully I can get some kind of volunteer work started before then. So we'll see what happens. Time will tell. Time always tells.
I think most people know i've been on a break for awhile. Yesterday I finally anitiated something other then small talk which resulted in us deciding we weren't getting back together. It's been 5 years. 5 years. It's been good. In the end it's funny, I think it's all a result of us being too similar to each other. Opposites attract.. that sort of thing. We were both a little too introverted, both a little too depressed for our own good, both not not able to open up to each other without a lot of prodding, which generally didn't occur. Anyways it's more or less a mutual thing which is good, and being the aforementioned similar-minded people that we are, it's plausible we could still remain friends (great friends?), so that's the plan. I guess the good thing is i've spent so long feeling like shit since it was becoming clear something wasn't right that now i'm more or less just happy there's a conclusion to it all. Which is good. I've pretty much run the gamut on emotions the last few months, and happy wan't one of them. Was the 5 years a waste? Not at all. I've learned a lot about myself (sounds so cliche), and I've loved and I've lost (bah.. cliche again), but the main thing is that i've loved, and the love was genuine, and i'd do it all again and so would she. Alas, i'll be ok, for now i'm happy with my own company. As always, music helps.
So thats enough about that.. not much else to update. Just been working spending most of my time hanging around with Andrew doing all the pointless and meaningless things that we can to accupy our time. I've noticed I have spurts of motivation (inspiration?). Usually like once every couple or weeks or whatever, where I feel like my life is just completely under my control. I'll genuinly feel like things are all gunna turn out ok in the end. I'm gunna get in amazing shape, get a great job, be happy all the time. I'll have the big house and 2.4 kids. I'm gunna write, and read, maybe learn a new language.. i'm gunna update my blog every day(HA!). I'm not gunna waste any more time accomplishing nothing, I'm gunna climb Mt. Everest... then I usually spend the day watching TV and say, well i'll do all that tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I forget all about that whole notion until the next spurt a couple weeks later. But anyways, things could be worse. I'm going to an information session on Tuesday for the Toronto Police on their recruiting. And i'm gunna redo my physical test on March 1st, so I can apply again shortly after that. Hopfully I can get some kind of volunteer work started before then. So we'll see what happens. Time will tell. Time always tells.
posted by Mike @ 1:15 AM
1 Comments:
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you I'll just hang
hang in there brother, good to hear you're doing ok and will hopefully see you in a couple weeks!
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